


Brokenness is a Form of Art

by cafeaulater



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Blood, Blood and Injury, Character Study, Doctor Leorio Paladiknight, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Killua being Killua, Minor Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Protective Killua Zoldyck, and also self discovery, and let them recognize that and work to be better, but he is part of this family too, chosen family, i just love themes of healing, leorio being a doctor and also a dad, leorio paladiknight character study, let characters be imperfect, no hate for any of these boys pls be nice to them, no kurapika only bc i couldn't think of a reason for him to be there, so there is a lot of that here, tired leorio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 20:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30027237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafeaulater/pseuds/cafeaulater
Summary: "Gon had absolutely no sense of self preservation and Killua seemed to have a lot of faith in Gon’s self-confidence. It wasn’t uncommon for Killua to find odd jobs on the hunter site and get Gon riled up about taking them. Gon would probably take any job, regardless of the benefits, just to prove that he was up for the challenge. Killua should know better."In which Leorio treats Gon and Killua for injuries and comes to terms with some of his own shortcomings.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Leorio Paladiknight, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	Brokenness is a Form of Art

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for blood and general medical stuff. It's not super gross and graphic, but it's there. They're in a hospital for injuries, so, feel free to skip this one if it makes you feel squick-y. Also please feel free to let me know if anything else needs to be tagged for a CW/TW. 
> 
> Title is from " [Neptune](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reaBkEHHivM&ab_channel=SleepingAtLast) " by Sleeping At Last. I drew some inspiration from this song in writing the fic.

It had been a stressful night for a Thursday. Leorio had just clocked out from his shift at the hospital and was nearly out of the emergency room when the automatic sliding doors activated, revealing a familiar shock of white hair carrying a blur of green and red. Leorio had opened his mouth to deliver a snarky greeting, but the words were lost in his throat as he took in the sight before him. 

Killua looked disheveled, his eyes somewhat dull. Wisps of lightning fizzled out in the air around him, the last remnants of the godspeed he had used to get here. But what prevented Leorio from speaking, what horrified him into silence, was Gon slouched unconscious on Killua’s back. Bright crimson shone from Gon’s forehead and had dripped all over Killua’s person. 

A nurse approached from behind Leorio, carrying a clipboard with the check-in paperwork. The pen she was holding clattered to the floor when she saw how much blood there was. Leorio scrubbed his hand over his tired face. This was not how he imagined the end of his shift going, but he was not about to leave his friends like this.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of these two, Nel,” he said to the nurse. 

“But aren’t you off th-”

“I said I’ve got it,” he forced out the words in a way that sounded angry, and so he did his best to soften his face and reassure Nel. He tried again, more gentle this time. “I know these two, I’ll make sure the paperwork gets to you. But for now, I’ve got it.”

She offered a curt nod before rushing to help hold the door leading back to patient treatment rooms. The tired doctor worked quickly, helping Killua shift Gon so they could carry him between their two shoulders through the door. 

Leorio led them into an empty room, gesturing to Killua to get Gon onto the bed. With quick, practiced hands, he pulled on a fresh pair of gloves and prepared everything he needed to check Gon’s vitals. He spoke as he worked, his entire body operating on muscle memory.

“What the hell happened, Killua?”

Killua had backed up against the wall, his arms wrapped around himself and his eyes fixed on his unconscious friend. 

“Killua!” he snapped. He needed to know how this had happened. He was tired and frustrated and feeling very put off by how often these two children found trouble and came to him to patch them back up. He regretted snapping at Killua a second later, his tired mind suddenly reminding him of Killua’s past. He hadn’t been looking at Killua when he’d done it, but he was certain he had elicited some negative fear response from the young Zoldyck. 

Killua made a sound, taking a deep breath. “They were stronger than we were told. We didn’t think-”

“You didn’t think at all.” Leorio wiped away blood from Gon’s brow. The cut was somewhere on his forehead, possibly up by his hairline. This mess would keep him at work for at least another half hour after he finished taking care of Gon. He wasn’t even on the clock at the moment, so, at this point, he was volunteering his time. “You weren’t thinking,” he said again. “You think you and Gon are invincible, but you’re not. And just because you can handle pain and take a lot of damage doesn’t mean he can, too. You have to stop letting these things happen to him!”

Killua was silent. Leorio glanced over, out of the corner of his eye, to see that Killua had slid down the wall and buried his head in his arms. He wondered if maybe he had gone too far in lecturing the boy. He would have to apologize for that later, once he was certain Gon would be okay. 

But there was truth to the lecture. Gon had absolutely no sense of self preservation and Killua seemed to have a lot of faith in Gon’s self-confidence. It wasn’t uncommon for Killua to find odd jobs on the hunter site and get Gon riled up about taking them. Gon would probably take any job, regardless of the benefits, just to prove that he was up for the challenge. Killua should know better.

Once Leorio located the source of the wound, he felt confident that Gon would pull through just fine. A concussion seemed likely, and he would have to check in on Gon over the next week to make sure there wasn’t any lasting neurological damage. But the cut itself didn’t seem to be of much concern. It didn’t even really need stitches. It was amazing how much a head wound could bleed… Judging by how much of it had gotten on Killua’s person in transit, Gon would definitely be feeling tired and dizzy even after regaining consciousness. 

Leorio cast a quick glance back to Killua. The boy was still crouched on the floor, his face hidden in his arms, saying nothing. His already pale skin seemed especially pallid and the guilt of reprimanding the kid while he was clearly worried for his friend ate at Leorio. 

“Killua,” Leorio began, taking a deep breath and turning away from Gon. “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you…” His voice trailed off as he tried to gauge what to say next. Killua seemed pretty set on giving him the silent treatment. 

“Leorio?” 

The doctor jumped in surprise, wheeling around to come face to face with Gon. The boy was sitting upright and Leorio was pleased to see that he seemed to be able to balance just fine in the position. That was a good sign.

“Hey, buddy! Can you tell me how you’re feeling? You’ve lost a lot of blood, but it is going to be okay.” As he spoke, Leorio grabbed a small flashlight and began to check Gon’s eyes, taking advantage of Gon’s present alertness in case he should decide to pass out again. 

Gon squinted at the light. His hand came up to meet Leorio’s, pushing the flashlight away. The boy’s eyebrows pulled into a tight knit, confusion written plainly across his features. “Killua…” he whispered.

“He’s here. He carried you from wherever you were, so you’ll have him to thank for getting you treated so quickly.” Maybe he could start making up to Killua by crediting him a little - it was true that he’d taken Gon’s condition seriously and had gotten him to the hospital quicker than any ambulance could have.

Gon shook his head and Leorio couldn’t ignore the fear that this confusion was a result of an internal injury worse than the cut. He opened his mouth to speak, to ask Gon about any other symptoms he might be experiencing, but the words never left his tongue, having frozen somewhere deep in his throat when Gon spoke with absolute urgency.

“No, no, no, no,” Gon said, still shaking his head. “Where is Killua? He got hurt, but I hit my head before I could help him! Where is he?!” 

The words jumbled in Leorio’s ears, and so it took him a moment to make sense of them. He stood up straight and turned away from Gon to where Killua was still curled up by the wall. No… It couldn’t be…

Two quick strides carried Leorio to Killua’s side, where he leaned down and put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Killua didn’t move. He didn’t say anything. He was completely unresponsive. Gon was saying something from his right, but Leorio couldn’t focus enough to listen. Thoughts swirled in the back of his mind, overwhelming all other instincts. He had yelled at Killua, had blamed him for Gon’s condition, had completely failed to check on Killua’s well-being and let the boy suffer while completely surrounded by people and equipment that could have helped him. 

When it came to the two boys, Leorio had been aware of his bias, had been working to come to terms with it and do better. The truth was that when he had first met Gon, the boy had been a beacon of light and joy in the middle of a stormy sea (quite literally). In contrast, his first impression of Killua had been less moving. The boy had skateboarded past a tired and jaded Leorio without a care in the world, had been cocky enough to decide to run when he found the same beacon of light that had kept Leorio moving, had constantly made it clear that he was only around Leorio and Kurapika because Gon was there. Then, he had taken the life of a serial murderer without batting an eye. Leorio had been first annoyed by him and then downright terrified of him. 

All of these biases had formed before light had been shed on Killua’s traumatic upbringing. Leorio had taken enough classes on trauma and the stages of childhood development to understand pretty quickly that many of the things Killua said and did were habits borne of a horrid childhood. But overcoming his initial impressions of the boy had been more difficult, especially since Killua was practically attached to Gon at all times. It was wrong for Leorio to compare the two, but it was also natural. Would Leorio be the reason for Killua’s demise? Could his predisposed assumptions and rapidly drawn conclusions be what could end Killua Zoldyck, the assassin turned boy who had survived more than anyone Leorio had ever known?

Leorio’s mind snapped back to the present. He refused to accept that. He would help Killua and he would commit to doing better. Leorio scanned the boy before reaching out to him, carefully pulling his arms away from his core. The doctor clenched his teeth tightly as his brain helpfully noted that Killua wasn’t resisting at all. The boy’s head, no longer supported by his arms, rolled to the side, blood that had dripped from Gon’s cut stood out, a stark burgundy, in his white hair. 

Most of the blood on Killua that Leorio had originally assumed to be Gon’s seemed, instead, to be coming from under Killua’s own shirt. Wounds on the torso were delicate - he would have to be extra gentle and make sure no vital organs were impacted. Looping one arm under Killua’s knees and the other around his waist, Leorio lifted the boy and turned toward the hospital bed. Gon, having anticipated the movement, had already stood up and moved out of the way. 

“Nel, I need a hand in here,” he called loudly toward the open door. A response sounded back from the hallway, but Leorio was too distracted to process what had been said. It didn’t matter.

He worked quickly and efficiently. He should have done this earlier, should have checked on Killua’s state immediately, but he couldn’t go back in time. He didn’t have control over the past. 

The source of the bleeding was easily located - a deep looking wound on his left shoulder. It was impressive in a sickening way that Killua had been able to get to the hospital at all, not to mention having carried Gon the whole way, as well. 

Gon stood to the side, staring at Killua with a stony gaze. The expression looked out of place on him. Leorio could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen the boy anything but optimistic - hell, even when Gon had been fighting in action, he still always seemed chipper. But right now, he was unreadable. His aura gave away something like somberness, or maybe guilt or fear. It was extremely unsettling. 

Leorio hadn’t registered Nel’s presence in the room until she was right next to him, miraculously reading his mind and supplying him with the tools he needed. He nearly dropped the tweezers and gauze sponge he was holding when Killua muttered something. How was he even awake at a time like this?!

“Sorry buddy, what was that?” he asked, gripping the tweezers tighter as he tried his best to clean around the impacted area.

“It- it’s still... there,” the boy almost whispered. Leorio had to strain his ears to make out the words. Still there? His eyes scanned Killua’s pallid face for answers. Killua’s eyes were closed and his breathing was uneven. A wrinkle had formed between his brows and that alone told Leorio enough about how much pain he was in. Killua never flinched, never gasped, never showed any signs of weakness. Even when Leorio, Kurapika, and Gon had retrieved the Zoldyck heir from his family’s estate, he had met them with a smile and his usual carefree attitude. But Leorio had seen the marks on his wrists, had noticed the lacerations marring every bit of skin when they were back at the hotel in Padokea, had registered that the boy was without a doubt experiencing immense pain with every movement but showed no sign of it at all. 

“What’s still there?” he heard Nel ask. She somehow always managed to keep a level head. Leorio admired her a lot as a coworker. As she spoke, she was already preparing a nebulizer, hoping to help the patient into a drugged sleep. Leorio placed a hand on hers and shook his head - it wouldn’t work on Killua. He knew the Zoldycks had made sure nothing could knock out the child they were raising to be a weapon. Nel responded with a quizzical look, but the silent conversation was interrupted by a voice from their right. 

“The bullet.”

Leorio turned his head when he realized it was Gon who had spoken and not Killua. Gon still looked out of it. He was scrutinizing Killua’s face with such intensity that Leorio wondered if he had been possessed by something other than himself.

Gon took a heavy breath before raising his attention to the doctor and the nurse. “The bullet he took… it’s still in his arm.” 

“Leorio,” Nel called his attention back to the matter at hand by shoving forceps toward him. He gave a curt nod and seized the forceps, wasting no time in leaning forward. Killua didn’t move as the metal entered his arm - if it weren’t for the crease sticking stubbornly between his brows, Leorio would have thought he’d lost consciousness again. 

Removing the bullet took less than a minute, but it might have been the longest minute Leorio had ever lived. Halfway through, Killua had made a noise between a whimper and a whine, and the effort he made at keeping it in by clenching his teeth was not unnoticed by Leorio. At the sound, Gon had rushed forward, blubbering something that sounded like an apology. By the end of that long minute, Killua was definitely unconscious again and Gon had slumped into a chair Nel had pulled up for him (if only to keep him out of the way while they worked). 

Leorio dropped the bullet onto a small tray. It clattered and rolled, sending small red droplets across the tray. Leorio traced its path with his eyes, watching as the silver metal emitted a bluish glow before the whole bullet disappeared altogether. He huffed an exasperated sigh, turning away while Nel prepared everything he would need to stitch the wound.

“Gon, mind telling me why Killua dragged you in here unconscious with a nen bullet lodged in his arm? What the hell have you two been up to?”

Gon said nothing for a long moment. He massaged his fingers anxiously into his textured hair, mindlessly twisting small kinks along his hairline. “Oh,” he said, finally, as though having just realized a question had been directed at him. “We took a job not far from here. It looked pretty easy and the pay wasn’t oddly high. Leorio, I promise we thought it was safe, but… the guys we had to catch - they were involved in a covert operation that the Hunters Association wasn’t aware of. If I’d known… if Killua had known… we wouldn’t have taken it. Killua wouldn’t have let us take it…” His lip trembled dangerously and he pulled it between his teeth to regain control. 

“It’s okay, kid, you don’t have-”

Gon cut him off, giving up control of his tears altogether as they began to race down his face. “I rushed in too quickly! If I had waited like Killua was, they wouldn’t have noticed us. We could have left. The gun was pointed at me, but Killua” - now puffy eyes landed on the hospital bed, where Killua’s chest rose and fell slowly in his unconsciousness - “K-Killua pushed me away… I-I hit my head-d and that’s all I remember but he was the one who got hurt and I couldn’t help him!” 

Leorio’s long, thin hand found its way patiently to Gon’s shoulder, his whole arm feeling the bodily jerks that accompanied each sob. He didn’t say anything. He waited until Gon could breathe normally again. He couldn’t help but see bits of himself in Gon’s reaction - a sharp reminder of his own past and of losing a close friend. But this was different. Killua could be helped.

“It’s okay, Gon. He cares about you a lot and I think he knew what he was getting into. He’s here now. He’s going to be okay. You hear me? He is going to be just fine. It’s not your fault, okay? You know who is at fault here? Not you. Not Killua. Only the people who hurt you two. Do you understand?” He wasn’t sure if his words were reaching Gon at all at this point, but Gon nodded, and overall he seemed to be breathing easier. 

“Doctor.” Nel’s voice was a near whisper. Leorio turned back to her as she offered the prepared suture kit. His nimble fingers set to work. 

He meant what he’d said to Gon. Killua was going to be okay. Leorio could help him, this time. He could do better. He’d make it up to Killua, day after day. He’d meet up with the boys and show them just how much they meant to him. Even if it meant keeping Gon out of trouble and going along with Killua’s niche humor. Even if it meant checking his biases and committing to overcoming them. Even if it meant volunteering a few extra hours after his shift. Because these boys, Gon and Killua both, were the family he chose and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk if that was a good ending - my brain just kinda... stopped? But I've been trying for over a week to get it right, so... bon appetit? 
> 
> Please note that this is NOT a Leorio hate blog - I wrote this because, when first watching the 2011 show, I felt like Leorio only really stuck around for Gon (and eventually Kurapika). Idk I just felt like if it came down to it, 2011 Leorio would have chosen Gon over Killua in a heartbeat. Which I don't mean to come off as "Leorio is a bad person". More so, I think Leorio is a super complex character (as many of the characters in hxh are), and I wanted to explore 1) why he might not be as close to Killua, 2) how he might come about realizing that he has this bias, and 3) how he would react to that realization. And that's what fueled this fic 😊
> 
> SO tl;dr Leorio is a super interesting character and I think he has potential to grow and that his character would 100% strive to seize that opportunity for growth!
> 
> Also, since watching the 1999 version of the show, my love for Leorio (and many other characters) has grown exponentially. If you haven't watched the '99 version, I'd highly recommend it, as you get more of the characters and character relationships than you do in the '11 version. 😁
> 
> Now that I've ranted over this enough (I'm so sorry idk what is fueling this rambling), thank you SO MUCH for reading this and please feel free to leave kudos and/or comments to share your thoughts/ideas/reactions/what have you. You can also hmu on my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cafeaulater) ! Thank you again!


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